Your Music is Scaring My Dog

The other day I took my dog out in the car with me to run errands. We pulled up next to a monster truck at a stoplight and I heard a screeching noise next to me. My dog whipped her head out the window to see what the clamor was. We both heard what sounded like zombies singing along with a drum machine. My dog literally cocked her head (think RCA dog), pulled her head back inside and hunkered down in her seat. I couldn't have agreed with her more. The music was scary. Picture the movie World War Z - one of those zombies trying to "sing" its heart out - a guttural, screaming, primal-I'm going-to-eat-your-face type sound all on one note, if you could call it a note. Then picture a frantic, methodical "tic-tic-tic" drumbeat that sounds like someone is holding down the fast-forward button.
Or a simple way to put it:
This guy was blasting "Angry Teen Music" from his over-sized, knobby-tired truck.

And my dog was petrified.
The light changed and we managed to pull away, and I found Jackson Brown on the radio. "Running on Empty" seemed like a lullaby. She settled into the seat next to me to lick herself and all was well.
Later that week, I heard something else that scared me. It didn't scare my dog, but my guess is if she had heard it and understood it, it probably would have.

I heard that at the Church of the Nativity in the Holy Land, a lot of fighting goes on. Inside. The church is shared by three different Christian orders - Armenian Apostolic, Greek Orthodox and Roman Catholics. Each one has a "section" of this holy church. This is supposed to be the church that marks the spot where Jesus was born, but it is also the spot that marks where division thrives. The religious folks are very territorial about their section of the church. If a Greek Orthodox is sweeping his corner of the church and accidentally runs his broom on the Apostolic side, a fight may break out. Broomsticks have been raised and lowered on the heads of rivals. Sometimes, Palestinian police have to break things up. If someone were to walk in in the middle of the brawl, it would look like robed janitors duking it out with cleaning supplies. Funny, when you think about it that way, but also very, very sad.
And scary.
This type of things scares folks away from God. It makes me cringe to call myself a Christian. Truly embarrasses me. Why would I want to be associated with the Christian religion when they can't even get along inside the very church marking the spot where Jesus was born?  And it is not like an Orthodox is sneaking over to spray graffiti on the Catholic side of the church, or a Apostolic holy man is peeing in the Orthodox corner of the church -- nope, they are cleaning it!
Hey!  Keep your broom on your side, buddy! 
Don't even THINK about dusting on the other side of this line!
Get your OWN Windex Holy Father!
Yes, even when cleaning up, they must stay in our corners. Even on the very spot where God's Son lay down his wee head in the manger.
Sigh.
How this must break God's heart.
To see this debacle. This despicable act. This division.
And how it scares people away--just like a monster truck with screaming zombies blaring out of it's speakers. The clack of broomsticks as they clash in mid-air, the insults, the hatred, the yelling, the anger--all of the fighting that goes on in this sacred church and in other Christian churches and communities--makes others, non-Christians, want to run, drive, jet-away from Christianity as fast as possible. Can you blame them for burning rubber to get away from the noise as soon as the light turns green? Certainly not.
I struggle not to run myself.
I try to focus on the Christians who were the first ones into the Philippines after the typhoon.  The ones who show up as doctors and nurses and caretakers in foreign countries and here at home to care for the sick, homeless, runaways and single moms. I try to smile when I see the new Pope spending time with the poor, humbling himself enough to downgrade his living quarters. I think of the kind Christians I know who have changed my life for the better, been there when I needed them and shared words of encouragement at just the right time. (You know who you are!!)
But sometimes, it isn't enough to get the shouting zombies out of my head.
I need to look at the One who's birth we celebrated yesterday. The King who comes as a tiny baby and can't even find a decent place to lay his head his first night on earth. The child who grew up to challenge the religious leaders of the day. What did he do when he saw religious hypocrisy?
He threw over tables and grew angry.
He exposed hypocrites for what they were.
He pointed at the "high and mighty" and said, "Don't be like that."
He also lived, loved and reached out to the outcasts and the lost.  He soothed wounded hearts and healed broken bodies.
He didn't scare people away. He allured. Children wanted to sit in his lap (and he didn't have to promise them their favorite gift for Christmas.) "Sinners" wanted to eat with him and he obliged wholeheartedly. Bumbling buddies became devoted disciples. Doubters became faithful even unto death.

Let's not let the screaming religious zombies drown out the soothing music of the "reason for the season."


Hope A. Horner, 2013
www.hopehorner.com
Follow on Twitter:  https://twitter.com/HopeNote
Email author on gmail at hopeh1122

Warm Associations

What if you received a Christmas card with this line in it:
"I look forward to the warm association we will continue in the coming year."
What if it came from your neighbor? A co-worker? Your pastor? A friend? Would you be OK with the words "warm association"? What if it came from your sister? Or Mom & Dad?
Not so good. Kind of cold, huh?

This line was in a Christmas e-card I received from my workplace financial advisor. It was blasted out to hundreds of employees wishing them the joys of the season and all the best for the new year. The words "warm association" really caught my eye. Yes, we are associates. I see you a few times a year by appointment only and you tell me if I am on track with my retirement financial planning and investments. We chat about the weather outside, the conditions of the market; you recommend this or that and I nod, not being a numbers person and say, "Sure, that sounds good."  Basically, my money stays right where it is and you say you're glad to see me and I'm looking good and I return the compliment and then I walk out of your tiny temporary office at my work location while the next eager employee, just years from retirement, rushes in with her portfolio in hand. NEXT! Time for your warm association!

If I sent a Christmas card to a family member and wrote, "I look forward to our warm association in the coming year" they would think I was either joking or rude. I am known for being a jokester so they would probably look for the cheesy "Christmas letter" to go along with my card. You know the one that brags about everything the family has accomplished in the past year and conveniently leaves out all the negative?

Hello Friends, Family and Warm Associations,
Seasons Greetings! Wow, didn't 2013 go fast? We wanted to update you on all the things God blessed us with this year, or at least those few things we can fit in these fourteen single-spaced typed red and green pages! 
Our little Jimmy climbed Mount Everest! Twice! We're thankful that we sent him to those private climbing lessons in kindergarten even though we had to refinance our 6 bedroom, 5,500 square foot house in Brentwood to do it. Our eldest, Sally, graduated from high school this year (VALEDICTORIAN JUST LIKE HER MOTHER!!!) and got into Harvard, but she is just going to have to be OK with med school at Stanford because we want her close. We agreed that if she would stay close, we would allow her to use our late model (2013) Audi A8 as a "transportation car" to get from point A to point B. (Point A=Standford, Point B=Our beach house in Carmel!) 
It wasn't just the kids who had major achievements this past year! This past summer, Bruce and I took that European language tour we always dreamed about. (This trip is only for those who can speak fluent French, German, Portuguese, Spanish and of course, English with the Queen's accent.) We plan to do the Asian one this summer, so if you speak Mandarin, Japanese and Thai feel free to join us! We plan to leave in March after a short 7 1/2 week trip to the Seychelles.

May God bless you as much as he has us,
The Jones Family
PS) Would you believe won Publisher's Clearinghouse? All those subscriptions to The Smithsonian and The New Yorker really paid off!

One year, I actually did include a joke Christmas letter in with my Christmas cards to family. I don't remember all I put in the letter, but I do remember that it was quite sarcastic and good for a laugh. I didn't do that this year, nor did I write "I look forward to our warm association."
But the card from my financial advisor did make me think.
Is my life just full of warm associations?
There are so many people I love in my life and I would say I am an openly loving person, although not hugely affectionate or overly demonstrative. I know people who, do to traumatic negative love experiences (i.e. lack of love from parents in childhood, betrayal by a significant other, etc.) are not able to love fully. I am not one of those people. When I love, I love, and have no problem saying the words "I love you" and meaning it.
But I am also so busy, so driven, so independent, so happy to be left alone, that I can fail to connect in meaningful ways with important people in my life. Sure, I call, I write, I check in, I go to lunch, I hug briefly, send Christmas cards and gifts and then get back in the fast lane or disappear into my quiet cove. Part of it is my job, which keeps me quite busy, and part of it is my personality. I am like my dogs. I need attention for a little while, but then for God's sake, just cover me with a blanket and leave me alone on the couch. And give me a book or my laptop so I can write. (That last part is me, not my dogs. My dogs can't read or write, but if they did, you can bet it would be in my Christmas letter!) Don't get me wrong --I love being around people, and have a great time when I am with them, but I am one of those folks who also thoroughly enjoys being alone. I relish my quiet time. I'd trade a rockin' holiday party for a quiet night browsing at Barnes & Noble in a heartbeat. At work, I laugh, network, joke and "play well with others" but I prefer working on projects alone or in small teams. And I dread workplace lunches.
Really? We all have to eat together in the party room at Mimi's Cafe? You mean I have to spend $20 for a salad and a water and repeat, "No I haven't seen the latest episode of "The Real Housewives of Miami" for an hour?
OK, so it is not that bad, but you get my point. I would rather take that hour to munch on a home-made turkey sandwich by myself in the break room while I prop up a book with my free hand. There might be one or two other people in the room. Fine. As long as they are reading, too. Or meditating. Or humming quietly and strumming a guitar with their eyes closed.

I know I am not the only one who feels this way. There is a new book out that I just finished recently (See what can be accomplished when you just say "no" to Friday night parties!):  Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain  Get the Book for $3 Here
She shares how introverts, often overlooked, are good "barometers" of what is really going on in an organization because instead of bouncing off the walls and chatting away at the water cooler, they are paying attention, listening, observing, watching and absorbing. For this reason, they should be included in the decision making process and can be very good leaders. They are usually respected for being cool headed, sensitive and possessing good listening skills. This is a good thing, but it can also mean that introverts have few close friends and mainly just "warm associations". I guess as we get older that tends to happen anyway; we lose the junior high need to be surrounded by friends and constantly pelted with "Xs and Os", but I want to be careful that I'm not disconnecting with others because I am "too busy." I do REALLY love my friends, neighbors, family and co-workers. I am not afraid to show it. I just need to slow down a bit and let it show more often. Yeah, work will get in the way sometimes and alone time is OK. But if the people who really matter turn to mere "warm associations" then I will be really missing out on the true joys of season. LIFE is but a season after all, and there can be a chill in the air, so it's time to turn up the heat on those "warm associations."
Not with my financial advisor though. That would be weird.

-Hope A. Horner, 2013
www.hopehorner.com
Follow on Twitter - @HopeNote
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Contact author at hopeh1122at gmaildotcom